When Travel Seems Impossible: A Letter to the Overwhelmed Parent

I heard you when you said "It’s just not for me.” I know exactly what you're thinking: "Easy for her to say. She sounds like she has it all together. I can barely manage a trip to the grocery store with my kids, let alone an international adventure."

So let me tell you something I think you need to hear:  Travel with children isn't about perfection, it's about possibility. And possibility can manifest in so many small traveling moments.

The Myth of the Perfect Traveler

Here’s what you don't need:

• Unlimited financial resources

• Instagram-worthy matching outfits

• Children who never cry or complain

• A degree in education

• Superhuman patience

What you need is exactly what you already have. Love. Curiosity. The willingness to try.

Starting Microscopic: When "Travel" Means Your Local Park and $20

Your first "expedition" will look nothing like my trips these days, and that’s good. It might be:

• A bus ride to a neighborhood three miles from home

• Walking a different route to the park

• A scavenger hunt for the best donuts in town

• Exploring a cultural festival in your own city

• Visiting a museum you've never been to on a pay-what-you-want day

The kind of learning we are advocating for is found in new experiences and new lenses, no matter how far away you go. Adventure is a state of mind, not a destination. And to be honest, until you’ve taken smaller, local adventures, your family probably can’t handle an international trip.

Think about travel-readiness as a continuum, where everybody starts at the beginning and progresses with experience. Babies don’t just start running, they crawl first and then walk. So if you’re feeling stuck and thinking that you’ll never get there, the good news is that you can just start small!

The First Scaffolding: Lowering Your Expectations

Here's an important level-set as you get started, and it might be radical:  Lower your expectations. Way, way down.

Many of us have an instinctive feeling that everything needs to be perfect, but perfection is not what you and your kids really need.  We need to find new measures of success.  Success doesn’t look like a perfect day - it looks like:

• Everyone survived

• Someone learned something new

• You laughed at least once

• You connected with your kids

• No one had a total meltdown (or if they did, you handled it!)

The Invisible Curriculum

Success can also be found in unexpected places.  Your children are learning constantly, whether you're in Paris or your local playground, and you yourself have opportunities for learning and growth along the way:

• Problem-solving happens when plans go sideways (not straight ahead)

• Resilience develops through small challenges (not ease)

• Cultural awareness begins with understanding differences (even local ones)

Permission to Be Messy

Some days, "travel learning" will look like total chaos. A toddler tantrum in the museum. Getting lost. Forgetting something crucial.  The mess is not avoidable, so let’s agree to stop trying for perfection.  If things go smoothly - that’s great, we can enjoy that too - but going on a trip means letting go of our everyday tightly controlled experience.  Let’s remember that we can find success within the mess, and our families will be better for it.

A Personal Invitation

So, to the parent who thinks this isn't for them: It is.

Start small. Be kind to yourself. Understand that every expert was once a beginner. Every traveler once feared leaving home.

Your adventure doesn't need to look like anyone else's. It just needs to be yours.